


in the tradition of love

by sanctimonials



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dad Date, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, Nervous Dads, in one of the many Bill & Ted universes this is true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctimonials/pseuds/sanctimonials
Summary: Pausing her music, Thea turns to give her dad her full attention, ready to scan him from the graying, curly hair on his head to his scuffed Converse clad feet. Because this is of the utmost importance. Because on this day, this night, Bill S. Preston (Esq.) has a hot date with her Uncle Ted.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan & Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 39
Kudos: 201





	in the tradition of love

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, Bill & Ted Face the Music! you will now make this entire fanfic obsolete but i will release this unbeta'd work into the world anyway  
> the title is based off The Pretender's song of the same name. give it a listen--it's really good! hope y'all enjoy the read! party on and be excellent to each other!

“Thea, be honest—do I look like a tool?”

Thea Preston is good at trick questions. Specifically, she's good at answering her parents’ trick questions. She knows that whenever their mom, Joanna, asks “Thea, a moment please, dear?” in her posh British accent, she's in for a truly momentous lecture about the latest stupid stunt she and Billie pulled. She also knows that when her dad says to “be honest” he really means “be gentle with me, for I get upset at any criticism”.

Pausing her music, Thea turns to give her dad her full attention, ready to scan him from the graying, curly hair on his head to his scuffed Converse clad feet. Because this is of the utmost importance. Because on this day, this night, Bill S. Preston Esquire has a hot date with her Uncle Ted.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Thea asks, squinting. 

“Yeah?” Bill hedges, pulling gently at the collar of his button-up shirt. It’s a cream color and clean and plain and ironed, which is pretty surprising since Thea is sure her dad doesn’t even _know_ how to work the iron. 

“Aren’t you guys like...just going to see the new RoboCop movie?”

“Yeah, but what if we like, get dinner after?”

“At a restaurant? With a table?”

“...I mean, it could have a table...” Bill mutters, fiddling with his sleeve. 

Thea squints even further. Her father relents with a sigh. “Ok, maybe I _was_ thinking of going to Taco Bell but like...we can go to an actual eating establishment.”

“I think that would be most excellent, father figure,” Thea smiles. “I think you know Uncle Ted’s favorite restaurants by now.”

Despite her father’s pre-date jitters, Thea knew that if Bill took Uncle Ted down to the local watering hole just to watch the Thursday karaoke crowd embarrass themselves while drinking shitty $1 Pabst and then to CrunchWrap Supreme Central after, Uncle Ted would still have a blast. She had a feeling her dad knew this too, but knowing he was making an effort to woo his longtime friend and bandmate made Thea’s heart warm. Who said romance was dead? San Dimas had love in the air tonight!

“So, the shirt doesn’t make me look like a tool?” Bill asks again, this time a little more confidently as he checks himself out in Thea’s mirror.

“Oh, no, it totally does. You look like grandpa Preston,” Thea confesses, making both of them wince.

“Ugh, that is _most_ heinous.” With one last look at the mirror and a sigh, Bill hangs his head and motions for Thea to follow. “Alright, kid. Come with me. Back to the drawing board.”

* * *

**Billie!! answer quick! Ted’s fav pants on dad? x**

Billie instantly pauses their fingers on the fret of their dad’s old guitar the second their phone chimes. They were waiting for the update from Thea, who texted “date night fashion disaster!” not too long ago. At first, Billie thought Uncle Bill was going to wear his old Iron Maiden shirt with the bleach stains (they always knew his blond hair wasn’t natural) but no. It was worse. A collared shirt with _slacks_.

Grody!

With a quick text back—“on it!”—Billie hops up from their bed and heads to the bathroom, where their dad is getting ready. Lucky for them, he’s fresh from the shower, standing in front of the mirror in his underwear with a towel wrapped around his head. He has a razor in hand and Billie instantly slaps the small, offending machine out of it.

“Dad! Dude! Don’t shave the beard! Dudes love the bear dad look,” Billie chastises. They hop onto the counter, uncaring at the small, wet puddle that seeps into the ass of their pants.

“But will Bill like the beard? It’s been a while since he’s seen me with one,” Ted pouts, remembering the last time he let his beard grow. Which was in the 90s, when beards were totally out of style.

“He’ll love it! Just neaten it up. Trust my wisdom, oh paternal figure of mine,” Billie assures him, before shouldering on with their original mission. “Dad, totally random but important question that will have literally no impact on anything that happens tonight but which of Uncle Bill’s jeans do you like on him the most?”

Ted tilts his head to the side as he pauses his neatening up. Billie watches as their dad seemingly goes through Bill’s entire wardrobe in his head, weighing the pros and cons of each and every pair of pants. After a pregnant stretch of silence, he nods, satisfied with his final decision, and answers, “he has these truly excellent grey skinnies that are ripped at the knee. They’re kinda old but they never fail to make him look hella bodacious.”

“Gross,” Billie says, scrunching their nose but relaying the information to Thea.

 **hella gross** , Thea texts back almost immediately.

“Any idea what mischief you two wild young men will be up to tonight?” Billie asks, watching as their dad takes off his towel turban to reveal his messy mop of hair.

“We’re seeing the new RoboCop—“

“With Jason Momoa?”

“Yeah, that one!”

“Hell yeah, dader! Then what?”

“No idea,” Ted shrugs as he rummages through a drawer. He pulls out a blow dryer and a roller brush, plugs it in, and gets to work taming his mane. “I left it up to Bill since he’s the one who asked me out, as you know.”

And, boy, did Billie know. The same night Uncle Bill asked their dad out for a date, Billie watched as their dad came home on cloud nine with a wide, goofy grin on his face. The bright smile stayed on his face for days, not dimming even when Billie microwaved an egg (as an experiment) and it exploded and busted their microwave. It was the happiest they'd seen him since The Divorce, which Ted took pretty hard. But after Uncle Bill got the balls to finally ask their dad out, it was like whatever happened with mom no longer mattered. It made Billie happy to see their dad smile so often again.

“Yeah, I know,” they smile, taking the roller brush from their dad to get at a hard-to-reach spot at the back of his head. Once they finish, Ted makes his way to his room to get dressed. Billie fools around on their phone while their dad dresses, shooting Thea a quick update on Ted’s ETA. They patiently wait for a second before calling out, “How’s it going in there?”

“Alright, I think,” Ted mutters. “Wanna make sure I don’t look like an idiot.”

Curious, Billie makes their way into Ted’s room with only a “be decent!” as a warning. But Ted is more than decent, and, even though it’s their dad, Billie has to admit he cleans up nicely. He’s in one of his better flannels, which is opened over a simple black shirt that's been tucked into his pair of “good jeans” (the ones not stained with motor oil or ripped at the knee). It’s casual enough to not look like he tried but neat enough to look like he _tried_. 

“Looking nice, dad. I see you’ve mastered the french tuck. Guess I don't have to call the Fab Five on you,” Billie ribs and Ted laughs but it’s not with his usual gusto. Billie frowns, watching as their dad looks at himself in the mirror, brow furrowed as he fiddles with the hem of his flannel. It’s not a look Billie likes. “Hey...what’s up? Are you nervous or something?”

“To be honest? Yeah, I am,” Ted confesses. Without any consideration for his carefully picked ensemble, Ted flops onto his bed. He lets out a groan and pushes the heels of his palms into his hands. Billie’s heart sinks. They've only ever seen their dad like this on one other occasion: when their mom told Ted it wasn’t working anymore. Ted had broken down. Billie tried to console him but he was too distraught and Billie was too young to understand or be of any help. They called Uncle Bill and he was able to get their dad to sleep after a while. And even though Ted tried to put a brave face on for Billie after that night, the image of their dad on his bed, his arm over his eyes as he cried stayed with them.

Flopping next to their dad, Billie nudges him with their elbow. “Why’re you nervous?”

“It’s so weird, I know it’s just Bill but like…” Ted heaves another mighty heavy sigh. He’s quiet for a moment, his face scrunched in deep thought and Billie prepares themself—when dad thinks this hard they know things are about to get serious. “It’s just...it’s just Bill but also it’s _Bill,_ y’know? We’ve known each other forever. He is my best friend and most esteemed colleague. I know him like the fret of my guitar, dude. But like...this is uncharted territory. This is something totally new and what if it ends up being bogus?” Ted looks far away for a moment and he says, in a voice so tiny it hurts Billie to hear, “what if we do this and it ends up like me and your mom?”

“Dude...” Billie crosses their arms, closes their eyes, and starts thinking hard, too. After a second, they punch their dad on the shoulder. “Dad, dude, you can’t be a pussy about this.”

“Billie, hey! Language! That’s totally not cool!” Ted chastises as he rubs his now sore spot. 

“But seriously!” Billie sits up, all fired up. They could not let their dad leave this house on his date feeling like shit. They turn to him with a look of pure determination. “Look, I get where you’re coming from but like. You said Uncle Bill’s like your guitar right?”

“Right...”

“When you play a new riff, does it work the first time? Do you like it or do you gotta keep messing around with it?”

“Well...you gotta keep working on it or else the song will come out sounding most heinous.” Ted’s brow furrows, confusion clear on his face. “What’s your point?”

“Point is: that’s relationships, dad!” Billie says with a smile and an eye roll. “Duh! You keep working at it until everything’s harmonious. And when it changes again, you work on it again. Relationships are like a song, dad. Sometimes it doesn’t work and you get a dud. And it sucks…” Billie gives their dad a smile. “But this time I think you got yourself a hit.”

“You think?” Ted asks meekly, sitting up and wringing his shirt between his hands. “I hope so, kid...I...I’ve probably always loved him, y’know? It’s so _weird_ acting on it now.” A sad smile stretches across his face. “I’m pretty sure that’s why your mom bailed on me. She had to know I love him. She probably hates me.”

“Oh, dad,” Billie says, throwing their arms around their dad and squeezing. He squeezes them back, placing a kiss on the crown of their messy head of hair. “Dad, no she doesn’t. Mom loves you no matter what, you know that. You’re both better off as friends, is all. You and Uncle Bill are going to be excellent, I promise.”

“Well, if you promise,” Ted says with another kiss to their hair.

“You’ll be an absolute power couple if you ask me!” With another squeeze to dad, Billie stands up, Ted following their lead. They begin pulling at his shirt, trying to straighten the wrinkles the best way they can. “Plus, having two dads sounds pretty ace to me.”

“That does sound pretty ace,” Ted says, his face going an interesting shade of red. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though.”

“Speaking of ahead of ourselves—dude! Your date! You’re late!” Billie shouts, pointing at the alarm clock on Ted’s nightstand. Whipping out their phone, they let out a scream. “Dude!! Thea said they’ve been waiting for like ten minutes!”

“Shit! I mean—damn! I mean—”

“Who cares what you mean!” Grabbing a pair of shoes from his closet, Billie shoves them into Ted’s arms while pushing him down the stairs. As he fumbles with his shoes, Billie continues to rush around the house, grabbing his wallet, phone, and car keys. “Ok, so, I’m staying over at Thea’s tonight so you two dudes can crash here after the movie. No drinking and driving, no Taco Bell and dad?”

“Yes, most lovely child of mine?” Ted asks, feeling less like the parent between them and more like the kid going on their first date ever (which, if Ted thinks about it too hard, is probably true).

“You better bone him.” With that, Billie shoves Ted through the front door and slams it in his face. 

* * *

Rotten Tomatoes’ rating system has effectively changed the way people view movies in the 21st century. The film industry is one that thrives on word of mouth more than critical acclaim or any type of promotion. “Bad” movies can become classics and “good” movies can belly flop into Hollywood obscurity. Despite this, the “certified fresh” meter is one that many moviegoers consult, choosing only the freshest movies to spend money to see.

This is to say that the RoboCop remake that Bill and Ted go to see has a score of 12% certified rotten.

This is also to say, the pair don’t really care and found the movie to be an absolute blast, filled with as much bad acting and shitty special effects that only two men who grew up in the 80s could appreciate. 

“Aw, dude, that was _awesome_! Verifiably one of the best movies of the year,” Bill exclaims, still hype from the action-packed movie.

“Maybe even the decade!” Ted agrees. “It is, as Billie would say, top tier.”

“God tier.”

“God tier,” Ted echoes, and at the Preston residence, Billie and Thea very suddenly and inexplicably feel a wave of second-hand embarrassment overtake them.

As they talk about the movie more in length, Bill and Ted let the wave of moviegoers take them adrift into the mall. They wander much like everyone else does, hitting up their old haunts like the mom and pop guitar shop, the now “vintage” record store, and the sporting goods store Genghis Khan wrecked. The night is still young and the mall shows it; there are couples all over, sharing cinnamon pretzels and frozen yogurt.

Usually, Bill isn’t bothered by the number of young couples and would oftentimes wax poetic about young love in his head (and even out loud to Ted on some occasions). But all of a sudden, he’s aware of how out of place he and Ted are. Two grown men wandering the mall on a Saturday, with no ladyfriends on their arm. It must look most peculiar. 

_Ted must think so, too_ , Bill thinks uneasily. As nice as the night started, it seems like Ted also realized just how much young love is in the air. Their conversation begins to lull and soon, drops dead completely. Bill looks over at Ted, who is seriously mulling over something in his head, his eyes fixed on his scuffed Converse but his gaze a million miles away. The silence between them feels charged and awkward and it’s a most odious atmosphere. Bill suddenly feels very, very nervous.

“Dude, you hungry?” Bill asks, desperate to fill the silence.

“Huh?” Ted startles back down to the mall and ponders this new question. “I could eat.”

“Agreed. I got the perfect place.”

They leave the mall and make their way to a small hole-in-the-wall Chinese-Cuban joint in downtown San Dimas, one of Ted’s favorite spots. It’s not Bill’s go-to but the way Ted’s eyes light up every time they go makes all of Bill’s criticisms vanish. Tonight’s no different, Ted’s face splitting into an excited grin when the restaurant comes to view. Bill’s heart stutters in his chest and he doesn’t feel so nervous anymore. 

The place is easing away from its early dinner rush as the late evening crowd gently rolls in. The duo is seated quickly and they put their orders in without even eyeing the menu. Within minutes they’re sipping on beers and enjoying their appetizers of scallion pancakes and fried plantains. 

The vibe between them is no longer awkward but Bill can very much see it’s still charged with some emotion he can’t grasp. Ted is still miles away, idly picking on his beer’s label and keeping silent. It’s weird to see Ted so quiet. Even though they’re constants in each other’s lives, there has never been a lack of talking points between Bill and Ted. If they weren’t talking about work, they were speaking about Wyld Stallyns business. And if it wasn’t about the band, they would talk about their kids. And if it wasn’t about their kids, they would talk just to simply talk, to fill the air with each other’s voices. Not hearing Ted’s chatter messes with Bill something awful; it’s like his favorite song is suddenly cut from the airwaves. It’s awful.

It makes Bill wonder where the night had gone wrong. The movie was fun, and their stroll around the mall had been great too, at least at first. Had Bill said something heinous? Did he make a bad move somewhere, like when he placed his hand on Ted’s lower back to lead him towards the record store? Was Ted embarrassed to be seen with him? Had he waited too long and Ted realized that their date wasn’t ok?

Bill feels sick to his stomach and as good as the scallion pancakes and plantains are, he can’t take another bite. He needs answers. 

Bill takes a large drink of his beer to wet his suddenly bone dry throat and to get some courage before he takes the plunge. With a deep breath, he dives. “Ted...dude?”

“Yeah, dude?” Ted blinks, giving Bill his full attention. 

“I gotta know...have I...not been an agreeable date tonight?” Bill asks, quiet and meek.

“What? No!” Ted blurts, his eyes widening at Bill’s fallen expression. He realizes his mistake and quickly scrambles to correct himself. “I mean—yeah! You have been most agreeable. You have been a most agreeable and outstanding date. Best date I’ve ever had...” Even in the low lighting and with Ted’s beard, Bill can see Ted’s face flush. “I just. Can I be honest with you, dude?”

“Ted, my best friend and most esteemed colleague, have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me?”

Ted shakes his head and stays quiet for a few moments. Bill lets him gather his thoughts, taking his turn to pick nervously at the label of his sweaty beer. Like Bill did moments before, Ted takes a hearty swig of his beer and spits his thoughts out. “I really wanted to hold your hand when we were walking around the mall but I didn’t think you’d be cool with that.”

“What? Why wouldn’t I be cool with that?” Bill asks, Ted’s words shocking him. “Dude, if you held my hand...that would’ve been most righteous.”

“Really? You think? It’s not weird?”

“No, man, not at all,” Bill says, shaking his head.

“Oh.” And like that, Ted’s whole body relaxes and the tension between them fizzles away. “Now I feel kinda dumb, dude. I felt like...when you put your hand on my back it made me feel really happy, like…” Bill’s heart stutters again at Ted’s bashfulness and the way he tips his head to cover his face with his hair. It takes everything in Bill’s willpower to not reach out and tuck Ted’s hair behind his ear. As if reading his mind, Ted does it himself, revealing his flushed cheeks. “Like we were right, you know? Like I was yours. But then...I dunno, man. I saw all those other couples at the mall, all those young kids, and how they were all free to hold hands and be happy. I’m happy for them but also...I wish I could’ve just held your hand, dude. I felt like there was something holding me back.” Ted takes another drink of his beer but when he places it back down, his lips are pulled in a frown. 

Looking at Ted’s despondent expression breaks Bill’s heart. Ted shouldn’t be upset, not tonight, but Bill can’t find the right words at the moment. Instead, he nudges Ted’s foot with his own under the table, making a small smile work it’s way across Ted’s lips. “Don’t worry about it, dude, I totally get you. It’s hard to not think like that.“

“Yeah...we didn’t grow up in the best of times,” Ted muses, his voice a little sad.

Bill thinks back on all of the times they called each other the f-word jokingly, without an inkling of how truly hurtful it was. All of the times Captain Logan called Ted a “priss” or a “fairy”. All of the times Bill had stared at Ted as he slept when they lived together back in the nineties and how he hated himself for thinking unsavory thoughts of his friend. All the times he felt jealous of men who proudly walked down the streets of San Dimas holding hands, taking the insults and sneers in stride like total badasses. How hard it was to feel what he felt. 

“No, we did not, Ted my friend. The world was most non-non-non- _non-_ heinous in the eighties,” Bill agrees. “But things’re different now. It may not be rad all of the time but I think we could be our most authentic selves now.” Tentatively, Bill reaches his hand across the table towards Ted, palm up. “Ted? I wanna hold your hand.”

The smile that lights up Ted’s face is prettier than any Californian sunrise Bill has ever and will ever see.

“The Beatles suck, dude,” Ted chuckles as he slides his hand into Bill’s, interlacing their fingers. His hand is warm and still a little damp from the sweat of his beer, but the way his callouses catch against Bill’s knuckles and the way he rubs his thumb across Bill’s wrist makes the butterflies in Bill’s tummy air guitar a sick solo.

The Beatles sure do suck, but Bill thinks they had something going with the line “and when I touch you I feel happy inside.”

* * *

When Ted was 12 years old he had his first kiss. It was when he was invited to Shanna Brown’s birthday party, and, in fact, he was the only boy to be invited. It was the talk of the grade, and Ted remembers Bill being jealous of the snub (“Don’t they know we come as a set?” Bill huffily sneered. “We’re not Bill and Ted, we’re BillandTed. It’s important.” Ted remembered feeling warm at how Bill called them a set, like how his mom and dad were Mr. & Mrs. Logan, like they were one singular entity). But Ted was no wiser of Shanna’s intentions and when he arrived at the party with a present wrapped in shiny pink paper, the only thing he was excited about was pizza and the promise of cake. 

Ted remembers having fun, running in the Brown family’s backyard, and playing party games. But, really, he wanted the party to end so he could go over to Bill’s house; he promised to stay the night after the party so he could relay his newfound girl knowledge to Bill. However, the party was moved to the Brown’s furnished basement and a game of truth or dare began. That was when the birthday girl’s plan came to fruition, and Ted’s invite all made sense. Shanna went first and chose dare bravely. Her friends instantly dared her to kiss Ted on the lips.

Ted was flabbergasted by the gaggle of girls’ giggles. Were all of the dares going to be kissing dares? If so, could two girls even kiss each other? 

Before he could voice his concerns, Shanna had leaned in and pressed her cake-sweet lips to his. She smelled of cocoa butter and her dark, tight curls tickled his cheeks. When she pulled away, the rest of the girls shrieked, thrilled by something Ted wasn’t privy to. And once again, before Ted could voice his concerns, his time at the party had ended, his mother there to pick him up and chauffeur him to the Preston household. 

“Dude! You’re finally here!” Bill had exclaimed, shooting up from the prone position on his bed as Ted walked in. “How was the party?”

“Most peculiar, dude,” Ted murmured, still lost from what had transpired. 

“Peculiar?”

“Peculiar.”

“Hold on.” Grabbing his dictionary, Bill looked up the word. His sleepy eyes looked more awake when he looked back up at Ted. “Peculiar, huh? How so? What happened?”

Ted relayed his day back to Bill, getting more and more lost as he did. “And then, she kissed me, dude.”

“What!” Bill shrieked, his voice cracking.

“Shut up, dude, your dad’s gonna come in! But...yeah...”

“Well, how was it?”

Ted processed what he had felt when Shannon pressed his lips to his and he only came up with one conclusion. “Weird.”

“Weird, huh? That’s bogus,” Bill pouted, looking put out. “If it was bogus for you, what makes you think it won’t be bogus for me?”

Ted shrugged, genuinely lost. “Dunno, dude. Maybe it’s because it was Shannon. Like, I like her but I don’t _like_ like her, y’know? I think she only invited me to her party just so she could kiss me.”

“That sucks but also, you’re lucky. No one would wanna kiss me.”

“What!” Now it was Ted’s turn to be shocked. Bill shushed him and after a second or two to make sure Preston senior wasn’t on his way to bust them, Ted continued. “Whaddaya mean, dude? You’re the coolest guy ever. You’re smart and you can sing good in choir and you always have Razzles in your lunchbox. Why wouldn’t anyone wanna kiss you?”

Bill shrugged, picking at a loose thread in his socks. At that moment, Ted wished he could go back in time and demand Shannon to invite Bill to her party, too. It hurt Ted’s heart to see his friend so downtrodden, especially when he knew Bill was the most awesome and fun guy in San Dimas and that, if given the chance, he’d kiss Bill.

So Ted, being Ted, said that. 

“You’d what?” Bill squeaked, his eyes widening again. 

“I’d kiss you,” Ted repeated, this time with more confidence. “You’re so cool, dude. I like you as you are. If no one else will kiss you, I will.”

They sat there in silence for a few moments until Ted’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment. He meant every word but just like before he wondered: could two guys even kiss each other? Was that against the rules?

But Bill didn’t seem to have a hang-up about that. Instead, he asked, “you sure?” Ted nodded his head, worried his voice would reveal just how sure he really was. Taking Ted’s answer as a universal yes, Bill leaned in and kissed Ted.

 _This is way different than Shannon’s kiss_ , Ted had thought, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips against Bill’s. _For starters, I feel so floaty_.

Bill’s lips were chapped and he kinda smelled like sweat. His fingernails were digging into Ted’s thighs, where he had placed his hands as leverage, and he breathed super hard through his nose. But, to Ted, it was the best kiss ever and as Bill pulled away, Ted wished _that_ kiss was his first.

From what Ted remembers, the night went on as usual. Bill had acted weird and fidgety until Ted beat him at Clue. They didn’t talk of the kiss ever again, letting it fall into their shared past, just another facet of BillandTed the entity. But, for Ted, the memory was dear and every so often he would think back on it, always with butterflies in his stomach. Even though he got butterflies when he kissed Elizabeth, Ted knew all he was doing was chasing that same floaty feeling he got when he kissed Bill all those years ago.

What he wishes he could do is tell his adolescent self is that at the tender age of 55 he’ll be making out with Bill in his family-friendly Corolla parked in his driveway and it’s going to be very, _very_ excellent. 

“Ted,” Bill moans and Ted’s head spins at the way his name sounds like that, so familiar but so, so new. He bites at Bill’s bottom lip and his companion moans his name again, this time with more urgency. “Ted, dude, hey.”

“Yeah, what?” Ted pulls back, worried he’d pulled a wrong move (or worse, one of Bill’s muscles). But Bill looks pleased as punch, giving Ted his usual lopsided smile. 

“Let’s head inside, man,” he says, nodding towards Ted’s house. “I don’t think I want to put on a show for the neighborhood, y’know?”

“Oh. Right,” Ted chuckles. He felt like a teenager again, making out in such a public area without a care in the world. He’s got a reputation to uphold. The duo makes their way out of the car, and head inside. “I don’t think Mrs. Langston would’ve minded, though, man. I think she would’ve enjoyed truly choice entertainment tonight.”

“Gross, dude, she’s like 87!” Bill locks the door behind them and eagerly pulls Ted back into his space, with a look in his sleepy-blue eyes that makes Ted’s knees weak. “Plus, I don’t think I wanna share you like that, Ted, my man.”

“I don’t think I want to either, Bill, my companion,” Ted smiles as Bill leans in to press their lips back together. Ted can’t help but notice just how well their lips fit together, perfect like yin and yang, like day and night, like Slash and Axl, like BillandTed. The realization lights Ted up from inside out, making lightning zing up his spine and into his brain. He feels electrified by Bill, always has, but knowing that the other man is finally his to have, to explore, and to love? It has Ted buzzing.

But he’s pretty sure that’s also the doorbell.

The duo startles apart as the doorbell rings right next to their ears. They exchange wary looks; the last time they had unexpected visitors they ended up dead and in Hell. Ending up in Hell sounded most heinous right now and they _really_ weren’t in the mood for any world-saving. 

“Who is it?” Ted tentatively asks.

“It’s me, Thea.”

With a nervousness only parents could possess, the two fling the door open. “What happened?” “Is everything ok?” 

“Wooaahh, chillax, dads,” Thea says, her hands up in a placating gesture. “We’re good. Billie just left their Switch and they didn’t want to come and get it. They were worried they’d hear you guys boning.”

Ted was sure he had never been more embarrassed in his life and Bill looked ready to kick the bucket. “Thea, we weren’t—“

“Ted and I were just—“

“Boning—got it.” Thea smiles at how awkward Bill and Ted are, stumbling over each other like caught teenagers. It’s cute but it’s also really gross and Thea wants to make a quick getaway. “Anyways, I’m gonna grab their Switch and then I’ll leave you two dudes to it.”

“It’s in their room,” Ted mumbles, even though he knows Thea knows exactly where it is. She makes quick work of dashing up the stairs to Billie’s room and getting the console. When she comes back downstairs, Bill and Ted are still standing awkwardly in the foyer, looking like they want to implode.

“Found it,” she says cheerily, taking quick strides to the door. Ted’s about to usher her out when she turns to the men. “Listen, dads, obviously you don’t gotta do anything. But...you two look really happy. It makes me and Billie feel good to see you both in such good spirits again.” Billie gives them a fond smile that makes Ted’s heart soften. “But anyway—no more sappy stuff. Stay safe! See ya tomorrow for breakfast!” And with that, she books it down the block to Bill’s house, eager to get back to her sleepover.

Ted closes the door with a smile of his own and when he looks over to Bill, he notices his longtime friend trying to inconspicuously wipe his eyes. Ted walks up to him and wraps his arms around Bill’s waist, putting his chin onto Bill’s curly hair. “I think we just got their blessing, dude.”

“No shit,” Bill chuckles, leaning into Ted’s chest. “Those kids are too much.”

Ted hums in agreement. Thea’s words are warm in his heart and Bill is warmer in his arms. He _is_ happy, the happiest he’s been in a while. He’d stay like his forever, basking in Bill’s heat, but...well. 

“Dude! Hands!” Bill squeaks, his voice going high and cracking in a way Ted hadn’t heard in some thirty-odd years. 

“What do you want from me? These jeans make you look real good, man.” Ted squeezes again and he feels Bill’s moan more than he hears it.

“You horndog,” Bill murmurs into his chest. Tilting his head up, Bill nips playfully at Ted’s chin, making lightning zip through Ted’s body again.

“You know it,” Ted readily agrees, a little breathless. With a lingering kiss and a playful nip of his own to Bill’s bottom lip, Ted asks, “do you think we can move this up to the bedroom?”

“Why, Mr. Logan, are you propositioning me?”

“I certainly am, Mr. S. Preston, Esquire.”

With a sunny smile, Bill pulls Ted’s hands out of his back pockets and entwines their fingers together, leading Ted to the stairs. “Well, then, Mr. Logan, while the night is still young.”

The night doesn’t stay very young for very long and by the time Bill and Ted are done, asleep curled in each other’s arms dreaming of world tours and expensive guitars, the fresh rays of daybreak are slowly creeping in. They’ll sleep past breakfast, unsurprising to Billie and Thea a few homes down, and they’ll wake up just in time for an afternoon delight. By the time dinner rolls around, they’ll be sore and feeling more like their age. And when they settle down for an after-dinner movie with their kids, throwing popcorn and SnoCaps and Skittles at the screen and each other, Bill and Ted will smile at each other, feeling like it’s 1989 again and they’re about to start another most excellent adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> small update as of 9/7/20: i switched Billie and Thea's pronouns because i accidentally mixed up the actresses, haha (the actress who plays Billie is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, which i want to reflect here in this fic!). beyond that, everything is the same!
> 
> kudos and comments are most appreciated, dudes! and if you want to talk more about Bill & Ted I'm on twitter [@angieb_works](https://twitter.com/angieb_works) and on tumblr [@kunstlich](https://kunstlich.tumblr.com)


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